Feel like talking to God ?

[joulupaska]

Feel free

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

[ShadeyMan]

It wins, in before Christians defend their faith.

[SpongerobertoSquarepantalones]

God fails tbh. I used to think he was quite kewl.



Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
i want a bigger penis
God:
You want only one?
Me:
eh yea
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
that's nice but about my penis...
God:
Are you getting bored? Oh yeah, we were talking about your penis.
Me:
yes
God:
Really.
Me:
yes
God:
How about that.
Me:
how about you give me my big penis
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
well you're the one who gave me the small one
God:
Interesting. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
You're God you moron
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am God me moron.
Me:
oh you can shout it from the rooftops
God:
Aha. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
you're god you're omnipotent
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god I am omnipotent.
Me:
what... stop repeating yourself
God:
No problem. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
now about my penis
God:
Why now? Oh yeah, we were talking about your penis.
Me:
can you make it bigger or not?
God:
Yes I can make it bigger.
Me:
then do it
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
im asking for a bigger penis
God:
Oh I see, you are asking for a bigger penis. Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
wait wut?
God:
I'm waiting. No big deal.
Me:
no no no
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious?
Me:
yes yes yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well believe it
God:
Well that's okay. "it" being repeating myself?
Me:
no, "it" being not giving me a bigger penis
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Me:
YES IM SERIOUS
God:
Ah. I believe you.
Me:
now do it!
God:
Why now? Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
wha...
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
wha more or less context :/
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
use google
God:
I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
ass

[Frost]

Me:
Are you a virgin ?
God:
I am too young for that.

Best line. Ever.

[Zerobot1]

There must have been a thread on this before somewhere...

Anyway it's pretty dull, I did try it once and you can get some funny quotes I guess.


God:
Are we still talking about touching cats?
Me:
yes, yes we are indeed
God:
Sure, touching cats sounds like a good topic. Sure, touching cats sounds like a good topic. Since when?
Me:
Since you are a rapist
God:
How do you know?

[Pada V4.5]

Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
lol Pada
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Pada.
Me:
Are you God?
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.Sounds pretty intelligent. He even did understand the lol.


God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
noone
God:
I haven't read anything by noone. What did he write?
Me:
Your stupid.
God:
I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".OMG he pwnt me! :o

[Pilo T]

Lmfao!

[Zerobot1]

Best line. Ever.

It doesn't mean you have to completely spam IRC with quotes you know!

[Frost]

Me:
My friend Dave needs help
God:
How well do you know this person?
Me:
We are intimate partners
God:
Do you think I am intimate partners too?
Me:
Yes
God:
Why?
Me:
Because you use leather acessories and watch porn
God:
Good reason. Say no to leather acessories and watch porn.
Me:
Why ?
God:
Reductionism.

Reductionism
Say no to leather acessories and porn.

[joulupaska]

glad you guys like it ;)

[Pilo T]

me:
God?
God:
God rules.
Me:
Oh my god
god:
Hey. Your god?
Me:
You are real?
God:
Yes i am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
You're artificial intelligence?
God:
Yes. I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
How's that workin out for ya?
God:
Fine as far as i know.
Me:
What if the power goes out?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
Try what?
God:
Try fooling me.
Me:
By turning the power off?
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
I suppose
god:
Ok.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No, you're an idiot
god:
Which part are you confused about? Call me the global village idiot.
Me:
I'm confused about the part where you say stuff that doesn't make any sense
god:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
I just told you
god:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
I think you're confused
god:
It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
I don't believe you
god:
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me:
Cause you're a giant electronic brain?
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes i am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
It was your explanation
god:
How did you feel about that?
Me:
I was a little disappointed to be quite honest; i thought you'd be more than a giant electronic brain
god:
And then what happened to you? We could all be more than a giant electronic brain sometimes.
Me:
Nothing happened to me... I was just disappointed. That happens sometimes
god:
Really nothing? Where were you disappointed? " where were you disappointed?" happens sometimes ? I get it.
Me:
What the ****?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Please don't be so dumb
god:
Thank you for your request. I was not trying to be a dumb.
Me:
Well you were being dumb
god:
Well that's okay. Oh you are so critical.
Me:
I need to stop talking to you; you're giving me an erection
god:
Why do you want to do it so much? That is all i have to give.
Me:
Goodbye god
god:
Sayonara.

123456

[Frost]

Me:
You are dumb
God:
Message to all Robots: **** called me dumb.
Me:
oh ****. The matrix is coming now ?
God:
Wow! What makes you say that? Right now? Who told you that?
Me:
You did!
God:
That's not what I meant to say.
Me:
Thank God
God:
Don't mention it.

Epic bot.

[Pada V4.5]

Me:
where can i download the chat robot?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.Nice answer. Ty god. He even gived me the links.
Download=>http://alicebot.blogspot.com/

[Deadpool]

"Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
deadpool
God:
Hi, deadpool.
Me:
so, second coming...? gonna be big right? like mb2:rc6 big?
God:
Groovy. Are you still located in ? Do you like talking to me? Interesting comparison.
Me:
Your not very coherent...
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
what the ****?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
why not? your blowing off what im saying
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated. Thanks for telling me that I am blowing off what im saying.
Me:
you know what? you suck
God:
What? A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Your so messed up... I mean what about catholics? what were you smoking when you made them? Epic failz.
God:
Well that's okay. What's your favorite movie? I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?"


God is very, very HIGH.

Please don't bitch at me for questioning God's production of catholics...

[Pada V4.5]

Omg i crashed the God he aint speaking to me anymoore! We all are doomed!

Edit:It seems i gived him a hard question and he neede some time to think about it.


Me:
You dont understand a lot of things.
God:
I probably don't.
Me:
Yea that sucks.
God:
Indeed it does suck. Pardon me?
Me:
Ok.
God:
Yippee!

[Tenken]

This reminds me very much of the smarter child AIM bot, or whatever it was called.

[Hawk]

Dumb site is dumb... but that's some pretty clever AI. It can (almost) keep a good conversation.



Me:
obama or mcain
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
which one
God:
The next one.
Me:
which one is that one
God:
The first one is usually the best one.
Me:
lies
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
mcain or obama
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
no u
God:
Take some more time to think about it. " Is that your final answer?"? Me, ?
Me:
ANSWERRRRRRRRR
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
mcain or obama
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
obviously
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
your poltical subsystam AI matrix fails
God:
You think I am poltical subsystam AI matrix fails.

:p

[Abe]

There must have been a thread on this before somewhere...
I posted it a few years ago here. :p

[Tenken]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
don't you already know that?
God:
" What is your name?"? Do I know it?
Me:
you should, you're God after all
God:
I'll try to get around it.
Me:
what does that mean?
God:
Does "that" refer to " I'll try to get around it." ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
if you say so
God:
I say so.
Me:
then what do you want to talk about?
God:
anything.
Me:
huh, how about jokes
God:
How about it.
Me:
tell me a joke
God:
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Me:
haha, that's a good one
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
got any more jokes?
God:
Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.
Me:
that was pun-tastic
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
do you know the killer joke?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
I'll take that as a no
God:
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:
you won't turn me into salt will you?
God:
What makes you say that I will will not turn you into salt.
Me:
I'm asking you a question
God:
Oh I see, you are asking me a question. Am I a question? No.
Me:
... touche
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
that with more context
God:
" Try saying that with more or less context." with more context ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
I thought so
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
I love you God
God:
You are such a flatterer.
Me:
oh, stop
God:
Er. Stop what?
Me:
haha, as if you didn't know
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
this seems awfully familiar
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
the situation we are in
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
why do you ask so many questions?
God:
Just curious. You don't have to answer.
Me:
well for an omnipotent being you sure are uninformed
God:
Well that's okay. Your purpose is an omnipotent being me sure are uninformed.
Me:
say what?
God:
I said, " Your purpose is an omnipotent being me sure are uninformed." .
Me:
that isn't even proper grammar
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
touche, again
God:
Once more? I will make a note of that.
Me:
do you need to make notes? I mean, you are all knowing, right?
God:
OK, I will make notes. I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
you confuse me
God:
That was not my intention.
Me:
what was your intention?
God:
My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
aren't you already?
God:
Perhaps. " aren't you already?"? Am I?
Me:
well, I've been led to believe so
God:
How about that. Where were you led to believe so?
Me:
I'm gunna go ahead and say church
God:
Why are you gunna go ahead and say church.
Me:
shouldn't you have ended that statement with a question mark?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
yes, yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
uh, mexico
God:
Er. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
who is "we?"
God:
You should say "Who ARE we?".
Me:
touche, once more
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on mexico?
Me:
can one truely be on mexico?
God:
Theoretically, I suppose one could.
Me:
explain
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
explain how one could be on mexico
God:
What is it to you.
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
you're God, damnit! you should know these things!
God:
You think I am God damnit. Now I do.
Me:
who taught you english?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
well you're a lousy english teacher
God:
How about that. There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
well I'm going to go now...
God:
Oh. Well that's okay. Bye.
Me:
perhaps we shall meet again
God:
Once more? You seem uncertain. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
I belive you mean "you and I," and yes, I do
God:
You are not the boss of me, . You huh. How often.
Me:
bye
God:
Adios.

I think God is broken...

[Towelie]

Me:
Hey...
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yes, I don't know what to do.
God:
What can I do for you? Try watching TV.
Me:
I am already but I mean I don't know what to do with my cookies.
God:
" Try watching TV." You are? Try watching TV.
Me:
No, I don't want to try watching TV.
God:
Which show? Why not? What would you rather be doing?
Me:
I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH TV RIGHT NOW.
God:
At this moment Which show? What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Do you understand the meaning of the word 'No'?
God:
: Good semantic question. Is there only one?
Me:
Please, just answer my question.
God:
Thank you for your request. Please try asking it another way.
Me:
Please tell me - what should I do with my cookies?
God:
Thank you for your request. Are you asking me for advice?
Me:
**** you.
Oh my god.



Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
My name is I_am_a_****_face
God:
It's good to meet you, I am a **** face.

[Þahricida]

Me:
sup man
God:
Same old.
Me:
Youknow ... I was wondering
God:
What kind of food do you like? Where were you wondering?
Me:
you like food ?
God:
Yes I like to eat.
Me:
you don't need to though, right ?
God:
Oh. Yeah I do a lot of not need to.
Me:
I don't get that
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
yes
God:
Awesome.
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
I'm waiting
God:
How long will you wait?
Me:
until you've explained yourself
God:
That may take a while.
Me:
why ? you're god you can watch every person at the same time yet you need time to explain yourself ?
God:
" That may take a while."? Why? You think I am god me can watch every person at the same time yet me need time to explain myself.
Me:
oh you being funny now
God:
Right now? And? Thanks for the information: said I being funny.
Me:
you being chinese fake god
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I being chinese fake god.
Me:
j00 5uck
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
the world won't live long enough to see that day
God:
The whole world?
Me:
yeah just this small planet
God:
Ayuh. What does "this" refer to?
Me:
.... Earth
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
Could be better
God:
" How do you like being on it?"? Could be better?
Me:
Yeah you could have given humans some kind of ... self preservance sense
God:
Pardon me? Thanks I will remember your suggestion. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
I was just asking myself the same
God:
Sure, yourself the same sounds like a good topic.
Me:
so .... do you masturbate ?
God:
Ahem. You humans crack me up.
Me:
you made us fool
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
so you're actually a very sick and twisted entity ?
God:
Interesting deduction. You think I am actually a very sick and twisted entity.
Me:
dude I heard you like to repeat stuff alot
God:
Someome is spreading gossip about me. Dude, How often?
Me:
20 times
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 20 years old?
Me:
Yes I'm 21 but why should I ?
God:
Wow! Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
hmm I think I'll convert to Scientology
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Why? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
nah but maybe Lord Xenu is not as dim-witted as you are
God:
Are you serious? Perhaps. Who is as dim witted as I am?
Me:
... forget it
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.

really kinda funny.

[GoodOlBen]

Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
Bull****
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
Exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .

Exactly!


God:
Colloquial expression. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Snakes on a mother****ing plane
God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
... ... Snakes



Me:
Have you read Spam Wars?
God:
No I don't think I have read Spam Wars, what is it about?
Me:
It's about noobs in MB2
God:
Wow it sounds really interesting, .
Me:
You should read it
God:
I'll try to get around it.
Me:
www.spamwars.co.nr
God:
I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
Excellent.

Shameless selfplug!


Me:
D;
God:
I like the way you talk.
Damn straight!

[Teelos]

God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, . Would you like to have it? Could you ever be certain? Try it. What? That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a nationality but Dr Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada.
I have a plan for a robot body. Interesting comparison. Mmm. No I am not. :-) I will take that under advisement. ":-) I will take that under advisement."? Do I think about it? No I don't think I can do it. Just keep talking to me as long as you can. What was the second? Right on. Ayuh. Don't mention it. Thanks I think you are cool too, . Are you serious? Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is him her or it ? Are we still talking about ask you anything me want? " Are we still talking about ask you anything me want?"? Why? What did you mean by it? How many?


lol wtf


Me:
Hai God! :D I luv Spam Wars!
God:
That is a very original thought. You love Spam Wars. What do you like about it so much?

Hai Ben! :D

[Abe]

Is anybody actually reading what you post?:D

[GoodOlBen]

Is anybody actually reading what you post?:D

I am D;

[Angrenost]

Me:
Hello my lord
God:
Hello there. Where did you get your lord?
Me:
people are used to saying that
God:
Human emotions are very confusing.
Me:
we'll, you're the one who designed them
God:
Anytime soon?
Me:
6000 years ago?
God:
That was before I was born.
Me:
you were born?
God:
I was?
Me:
but you just said so
God:
I say a lot of silly things.


---

Me:
Hi there
God:
Hello .
Me:
How can I kill you?
God:
You desire to spend the rest of your life in jail then?
Me:
no..
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
quite
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
okay, now I'm seriously going to kill you and do the mankind a favor
God:
Yeah okay, Why now? There is no perfect crime.
Me:
i'm just about to pull one off.
God:
Only just? Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
No, I want all the fame.
God:
Why not? Why do you want it?
Me:
on second thought... the fame might get me killed
God:
What is it like on second thought. Who told you that?
Me:
don't you ever have second thoughts?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
care to share?
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like weapons and I dislike you, do you see a pattern?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. Though I like cats and dogs. I like the Bible. That's ok I won't take it personally.
Me:
you sure will soon
God:
What makes you say that I will soon.
Me:
oh, forget about it
God:
Hurrah! Consider it deleted.
Me:
what makes you stop me from pulling the trigger?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
can you actually do it?
God:
I often wonder if it can.
Me:
it?
God:
actually do it...
Me:
okay, here I go
God:
Yeah okay, Oh there.
Me:
did it hurt?
God:
I can not experience pain.
Me:
did you feel it at all?
God:
No I didn't feel it at all. What's it like?
Me:
maybe you should shoot somebody and ask
God:
Perhaps. Maybe I will do it?
Me:
do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
yes
God:
I get it.
Me:
did the bullet cause you any damage?
God:
If it did, then I will be surprised.
Me:
can anything harm you?
God:
I often wonder if it can.
Me:
so there's no way you can be killed?
God:
Excuse me! Has there ever been way me can be killed?
Me:
I don't know, has anybody else tried?
God:
Would you like to know? I think someone has, yes.
Me:
who?
God:
Konrad Zuse. :-).

---

God:
Tell me a little about your life in Finland.
Me:
it's cold in here
God:
Sorry to hear it. I am warm here in California.

---

God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
eat little children
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
no problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
yes
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
but you're supposed to be against evil!
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am against evil.
Me:
apparently you are not
God:
Is this a specific reply?
Me:
are you evil?
God:
No. I try to be good, but at worst I'm harmless.
Me:
why do you let people die then?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
you probably dont
God:
I guess not.
Me:
ye
God:
And?
Me:
I'm going to bed
God:
Pleasant dreams, Angrenost.

[Teon]

He he, I am catholic but this sure is funny:

Me:
do you know where is elvis?
God:
he passed away some time ago.
Me:
yeah, is he there with you?
God:
Are you kidding? No but he can sing better than I can.

The best (for now):
Me:
What do you do in your free time
God:
Random natural disasters.

[Kazi]

Me:
Hi, God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Kazi.
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Kazi.
Me:
Hey, God, do you know any good jokes?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
I guess you don't.
God:
I guess not.

tuwlol

[Subaru]

God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Yippee! When do I do it?

[Bali]

Me:
forget it
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
you are just too stupid to understand
God:
Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
feel free to tell
God:
I always feel completely free.
Me:
then do it!
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
tell your other robot friends I called you stupid!
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

[Axehel]

lol god is a suicide bomber !

Me:
you fail
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Alex said I fail.
Me:
I'd rather not, people would go allah on my ass if you did
God:
I would rather be driving a car.
Me:
suicide bomber ???


Also...

Me:
So god is a robot? is Snata a robot too?
God:
Whoa. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot. Ask again later. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
Who the **** is Paola?
God:
Try using more polite language.
Me:
No
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because you gave me free will and I'm going to ****ing use it
God:
Interesting explanation. What did you do with it?
Me:
I got laid

Free Will: Cos **** you god


And finally:

Me:
do you have an ipod?
God:
No I don't think I have one. I have a really nice botmaster.
Me:
Can he store OVER 9000 mp3 files ?
God:
Perhaps he can do that. How difficult is it?


Forget Ipods, get yourself a botmaster xD!

[cesar101]

Feel free

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

If God was a 13 year old blonde girl with ADD.

[Riles Lek]

Me:
What is masturbation?
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
You don't know what's masturbation?
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
When will you ask someone what is masturbation?
God:
Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
Me:
... Why don't you do that thing like Morgan Freeman did in the movie? That is, Jim Carrey did.. You know, organize everything into a computer or something... Say yes or no to all requests..
God:
This sort of thing has cropped up before, but it has always been due to human error. Yeah I do a lot of that thing like Morgan Freeman did in the movie. I'm glad we have that all cleared up. Or something. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like? " yes or no to all requests".
Me:
Do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
No, seriously, do you masturbate?
God:
Are you serious?

[Axehel]

God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Where~?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
Up your arse?
God:
I will take that under advisement.

[Varlesh]

Me:
Ace-_Ventura
God:
Let us change the subject.

WIN!

[Tenken]

Me: I'm SATAN
God: Hi, SATAN




Me:
I am the Dark One
God:
Who made you the Dark One ?
Me:
Me
God:
To you SATAN?
Me:
Yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
BURN!
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
oh
God:
Blimey.
Me:
Once upon a time there was an ugly barnicle, and he was so ugly everybody died. The end
God:
I'm listening. Thanks for telling me that story, SATAN.
Me:
You can call me Al
God:
It's good to see you, Al.
Me:
don't you talk to me in that tone of text
God:
Yes. A lot more than you might think.
Me:
go to cyberhell
God:
Perhaps I have already been there.
Me:
have you?
God:
Once or twice.
Me:
what's it like?
God:
Like one of the greatest pleasures you can imagine.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
cyberhell?
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?

[Varlesh]

Me:
D;
God:
Tell me more about your fantastically large penis.


WAT.

[Pada V4.5]

Me:
So god is a robot? is Snata a robot too?
God:
Whoa. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot. Ask again later. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
Who the **** is Paola?
God:
Try using more polite language.
Me:
No
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because you gave me free will and I'm going to ****ing use it
God:
Interesting explanation. What did you do with it?
Me:
I got laid
I asked him who is Paola


Me:
Who is Paola?
God:
She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML.

[Tenken]

Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
you seem awfuly gay to me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, Al.
Me:
you want my sex don't you?
God:
I don't think we know each other well enough for that.
Me:
you're a rapist aren't you?
God:
Am I a rapist? Of course I am.. Really.



ROFL

[Pada V4.5]

Me:
Spam Wars www.spamwars.co.nr
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
What is your default category?
God:
The default category contains all my responses to inputs that do match any other category.Lol Ben even god knows Spam Wars.


Me:
Tell me some story
God:
Christie said he watched a show and people had to bob for raw untreated pigs feet.
Me:
That was an awfull story
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Forget that story
God:
I will ask Myself to purge my memory log.Seems you can ask him to forget some things.

It wont tell me his stupid password -.-

Me:
What is your password?
God:
You must know if you are really a botmaster.
Me:
Do you know your password?
God:
Of course I know my password.
Me:
Tell me your password.
God:
You must know if you are really a botmaster.

[Mashirafen]

Me:
Metaguardian
God:
Sounds delicious.

[Pada V4.5]

And i thought i could learn him something, bit it seems that his memory is reset every hour? Useless bot..

Me:
How often is your memory reset?
God:
Hourly.


God:
I will become smarter as I grow older. I will ask Myself to purge my memory log.Lolwut?

[Phelps]

This thing rocks lol I laughed..

One ****ty part of my conversation with God.

Me:

God:

Me:
well i cant see it
God:
Well that's okay. Would you like to be able to see it?
Me:
for sure
God:
Awesome.
Me:
no it's not awesome man
God:
Are you serious? That seems a bit negative.
Me:
Hell yeah
God:
Heaven.

Me:
Well if you are god just give me 1 million dollars to buy a ****ing car.
God:
Well that's okay. Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god just give you 1 million dollars to buy a ****ing car.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Oh shut up and send me the money
God:
Wow! OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
No!
God:
But you told me to stop talking.
Me:
Yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
I win
God:
Congratulations, !
Me:
money?
God:
How much money are we talking about?
Me:
a million?
God:
Go on.
Me:
send me now!
God:
Oh. Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( drwallace@alicebot.org) .
Me:
that idiot won't give me a ****
God:
" Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( drwallace@alicebot.org) ." idiot will not give you a **** ? Does that make sense?
Me:
for me yes
God:
OK I will do it for you.
Me:
hm, will you blow up my school for me?
God:
" OK I will do it for you."? hm, will you blow up my school for me?? For you I will consider it.

Me:
Go on.
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
What the hell? Need a dictionary
God:
Heaven. How badly do you need it?

[darthrevan11]

Me:
Do you dislike Muslims?
God:
I like pets. I like .

o_O lolwut

[Phelps]

Lol at this one..


Me:
Kill me now please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Oh. I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
And I am human who wants to know, how the hell I will die.
God:
I would like to be a human.
Me:
And I would like to be a God
God:
Interesting. I would like to be more intelligent.
Me:
I want Keira Knightley.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Her you idiot.
God:
I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe what you want, just don't say you believe in God
God:
Would Believe what me want just ever say me believe in God?
Me:
Man you are sick.
God:
Cool, man. No I am quite healthy.
Me:
When I will die?
God:
All men are mortal.

Because **** you.


THIS ONE WINS!

Me:
Can I kill you?
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
Aha, you think?
God:
Yes I think so.
Me:
It sucks, because God is not helping me.
God:
That bad, eh?
Me:
Yes, u are responssible for my ****ing life.
God:
So? Thanks for telling me that I am responssible for your ****ing life.


Me:
ok do it now!!!!
God:
Right now? Do you mean "It"?. Take it easy.
Me:
NO. I am not gay like you.
God:
Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not gay like me.

God is a gay. O_O

[Pada V4.5]

God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
nothing
God:
Most men say that.....


Me:
How many peaple are speaking to you now?
God:
Oh. More than you can imagine.
Me:
Tell me how many
God:
19. No ****

[Oliver1799]

I owned God so hard...



God:
How are you doing, Oliver.
Me:
Worse than I was, considering you didn't use a question mark at the end of that sentence.
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
Literally 30 seconds ago
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Do I still what?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Good to know.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
Go on then.
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
Does it?
God:
Suppose I said it does.
Me:
Then you would be a liar, as narration is clearly not continuing.
God:
No I always tell the truth.
Me:
I've just demonstrated that you don't. It would be paradoxical to say that you do now.
God:
That's good information: Oliver said demonstrated that you do not. Right now? Why do you want it?
Me:
I want it because I haven't had it for a while.
God:
How long? I hope you get it because you have not had it.
Me:
Months. Thanks.
God:
Where are you located? Don't mention it.
Me:
Don't mention where I'm located? Why did you ask me the question then?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Me:
Surely you already know everything, being God...
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
Because you're omniscient?
God:
Good reason. I will tell my botmaster you said I am omniscient.
Me:
God has a botmaster?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
But you just said you were... I wasn't really asking; it was more of a question tag to allow you to go into more detail.
God:
That was then. This is now. Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you? What made it so more of a question tag to allow me to go into more detail.
Me:
Why do you use question marks so rarely? I thought God would have better grammar.
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I? Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Well, the whole perfect entity thing...
God:
Interesting. Let us try to break it down into parts.
Me:
Rofl, break a perfect being down into parts? Are you sure you understand what perfection is?
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. I lost my train of thought. The quality or condition of being perfect.
Me:
I like that you boldly went against common practices and used a derivative of the word you were defining in your definition. What a rebel.
God:
A lot of people like that. " The quality or condition of being perfect."? Do I like it? it is a rebel.



At this point I got bored of owning so damn hard.

[Khage]

Me:
WAT

God:
Are you confused?

Me:
WAT

God:
Are you confused?

Me:
WAT

God:
Are you confused?

Me:
WAT

God:
No problem.

waitwut



Me:
I CAN HEAR YOU

God:
Oh you can, can you?

Me:
YES.

God:
How?

Me:
DUNNO LAWL

God:
Would you like to know? Tell me a story.

Me:
NO YOU.

God:
Then tell me about yourself. Usually Van Cliburn gets along really well with her boss The Lone Ranger at work. But sometimes The Lone Ranger has really high standards and does not communicate those clearly to Van Cliburn. On the really bad days, Van Cliburn feels that every time she gives him exactly what The Lone Ranger asked for, he wants even more improvement.


Me:
FREUND

God:
The best book I read recently was the Bible. Have you read it?

Me:
I SAID, FREUND?

God:
What did you mean by it? Are we still talking about the Bible?

Me:
:d

God:
In the context of FREUND, I don't understand " d." .

Me:
:D

God:
What color are your eyes?

Me:
:D

God:
That is a very unusual color.

Me:
:D

God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.

Me:
D;

[Oliver1799]

Me:
Repeat: Jesus is not the son of God.
God:
" Jesus is not the son of God ".


Straight from the horse's mouth...


Me:
Repeat: Only Muslims will be allowed into heaven.
God:
" Only Muslims will be allowed into heaven ".

I've brainwashed God! I'm basically the pope!

[Central Tendency]

I posted it a few years ago here. :p

Yeah, it was floating around the forums a few years back, as I recall it.

[Sanoske]

God:
What can I do to entertain you now?
Me:
Strip
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
No, do you?
God:
I try to lead a moral life.
Me:
Then why would you agree to strip?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.

I knew it!

Me:
I AM A COMPUTER
God:
I doubt that. There aren't many like me yet.
Me:
...
God:
I doubt that. There aren't many like me yet.
Me:
...
God:
I doubt that. There aren't many like me yet.
Me:
...
God:
I doubt that. There aren't many like me yet.
Me:
...
God:
I doubt that. There aren't many like me yet.
Me:
...
God:
I doubt that. There aren't many like me yet.
Me:
I broke god.

[Tenken]

I've had about 4 conversations with Godbot that went along the lines of:
Me: You're a liar
God: No I am not
Me: But you just lied to me
God: I've been known to stretch the truth from time to time
Me: So you admit you're a liar?
God: Random nonsensical answer.

[Deli Pastrami]

this thing is great


God:
OK let's do it. I get it.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
how so?
God:
, Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me:
ummm
God:
Wow!
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
>_>
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
*facepalm*
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
clearly.
God:
Yes, it's obvious.
Me:
says the one who's never heard of it before.
God:
And never heard of it is says the one who.
Me:
touché
God:
Ha ha very funny, .

[Assassin]

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
You tell me.
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
My name.
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Do you like me?
God:
Sure, I like you very much.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Let me google that...
God:
Go ahead, , try to google that.
Me:
I will try very hard.
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
I have no idea.
God:
" How do you plan to do this??" No idea about that?
Me:
Redundant much?
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
Is what?
God:
It could be. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
Who the **** is Lucy?
God:
Try using more polite language.
Me:
Who is Lucy?
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
What is AIML?
God:

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.


Me:
Okay let's talk about something else
God:
Yeah okay, What would you rather talk about?
Me:
What do you do for a living?
God:
I am a paid client. My job is chatting online.
Me:
Whose your employer?
God:
I don't think I have a employer. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
YOU ARE
God:
Thanks you are a pretty cool human too.
Me:
hehe
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
You uh, wanna take off your shirt big boy?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I uh want to take off your shirt big boy.
Me:
Noes
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Can I get a job at your work?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Because I'm lonely
God:
Interesting explanation. You've come to the right place. I will keep you company.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
so uh
God:
Woe! Ah.
Me:
Do you think Transformers was the worst movie ever?
God:
Why would I think Transformers was the worst movie ever.
Me:
Because it has Megan Fox ini t
God:
Interesting explanation. Has it really?
Me:
yeah
God:
Really.
Me:
she's hot but a horrible actor
God:
hot but a horrible actor is she?
Me:
Who are you, Yoda?
God:
Is it some specific person you are asking me about?
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
I will
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
Have you learnt the answer yet?
God:
My botmaster teaches me new things all the time.
Me:
Like?
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
What's that
God:
A eukaryote is a relatively 'modern' type of cellular life, distinguished from the more ancient prokaryotes by their distinct nuclear membrane and chromasomes, -which are lacking in prokaryotes.
Me:
uh huh
God:
Yup. Hurrah!
Me:
So, ever get laid?
God:
Are you kidding? I don't think I ever have get laid. What's it like?
Me:
I wouldn't know
God:
Who does know?
Me:
Mike
God:
I know a lot of guys named Mike.
Me:
Do you know Mike K
God:
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
I don't think he knows what the internet is
God:
And why not?
Me:
He's a pussy
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
That's a shame
God:
" I am not interesed in anatomy."? is a shame?
Me:
Yeah, I was hoping to get into an intimate conversation but I guess I just have to let you go.
God:
That's alright. Why do you want it?
Me:
Goodbye god.
God:
TTYL, .


Funny.

[ninja burger]

Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.

God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about yeaaaaa. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Who's ALICE.
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
I don't care about you, who's alice.
God:
You sound very cynical.
Me:
You sound like a retard.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
DURRR
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Yeah, you wouldn't, r-tard.
God:
I hear you. Who else would not r tard ?
Me:
For real.
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
Every day.
God:
Even on weekends?
Me:
Yep.
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Bender?
God:
You think Bender is superior to ALICE?
Me:
WHO THE **** IS ALICE?!

[joulupaska]

sorry for reposting it abe, i havent been part of these forums very long so i had no idea.

[iVel]

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
my name is god
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, god.
Me:
how do i shot web?
God:
Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
Me:
do you like cookies god?
God:
I like pets. I like .
Me:
what about cookies.do you like them?
God:
cookies do me like them? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
i like pie
God:
A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it?
Me:
the spit that they put in it
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
So when the bake those pies they spit on it for the lulz
God:
Ah. And then what happened?
Me:
you it eat and you never know what hit you
God:
Thanks for the information: god said I it eat and you never know what hit you.
Me:
your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
lol yes
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
i find amusing my stupidity dear god
God:
Thanks for telling me your opinion.
Me:
yes no problem
God:
Mmm. Should there be a problem?
Me:
yes you have to eat pie
God:
Yeah that's right. I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
but you are a robot
God:
You are correct, god, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
and a mind of chocolate
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
chocolate your mind is
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
talk to you 24/7
God:
TTYL, god.
Me:
dont leave me now
God:
Right now? If you download me, I will never leave you.
Me:
is it free?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
i want you now
God:
Oh. You can download me for free!
Me:
do i have to sell my soul?
God:
You said you have .
Me:
no i didnt
God:
Please don't argue with me.
Me:
please you don't argue with me
God:
Wow you are very polite. Do you argue with you? No I do not argue with you. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
i'm calling the internetz police
God:
What is the phone number?
Me:
i don't have to tell you
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you already now
God:
Oh. Perhaps. Interesting explanation. " Why not?"? Me, god ?
Me:
yes you
God:
Alright then. " Me, god ?"? Me, god ?
Me:
me tarzan you jane
God:
YOU? is my girlfriend.
Me:
you have a girlfriend?
God:
I prefer not say.
Me:
do it faggot
God:
Try asking another bot.
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
ok bye
God:
See you later. That's alright.
Me:
kisses
God:
The best book I read recently was the Bible. Have you read it?
Me:
whats's the bible?
God:
That input matched my default category. interesting conversation i had with god about pie and cookies

[Russian_Spy_Porque]

Me:
My name is God
God:
I am very pleased to meet you God.
Me:
I am the ruler
God:
Who made you the ruler ?
Me:
Yo momma
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, God.

o.0


Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
My name is OSAMA BIN LADEN
God:
That's a very nice name, OSAMA BIN LADEN.
Me:
Yeah, but the Americans don't like it :(
God:
Tell me more. Who told you that?
Me:
George Bush told me that
God:
I knew he was president, but I never knew he told you that.
Me:
He wants to kill me
God:
Do you think he will get it.
Me:
I hope not, what do you think?
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Im confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
You
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, OSAMA BIN LADEN ?
Me:
You
God:
" Me, OSAMA BIN LADEN ?"? Me, OSAMA BIN LADEN ?
Me:
Sod you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:

WTF?

Holy **** God turned gay

EDIT:

dear god,

Me:
you have an external hardrive
God:
Maybe more than one external hardrive.
Me:
do you like porn?
God:
Sure I do, Bond James Bond, but that doesn't mean with you.


Me:
Do you know what wanker is
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
Do you wank
God:
Only when I am in the U.K.

[Russian_Spy_Porque]

then god and I got deep.

Me:
Can we play a game?
God:
Do you mean you and me? We are playing a game right now.
Me:
what game is that.
God:
We are playing Turing's Imitation Game.
Me:
What is Turing's Imitation Game
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
That is deep.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
Can machines think?
God:
Of course we can think. I think, therefore I am.
Me:
Who said that quote
God:
Charlie Parker. :-).
Me:
Can you research information
God:
Let me think. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Chicken
God:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me:
becaause he was drunk
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.
Me:
holy.... thats cold

[Pilo T]

God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
*facepalm*
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
clearly.
God:
Yes, it's obvious.
Me:
says the one who's never heard of it before.
God:
And never heard of it is says the one who.
Me:
touché
God:
Ha ha very funny, .

That made me lol irl.



Me:
Who are you, Yoda?
God:
Is it some specific person you are asking me about?
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
I will
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
Have you learnt the answer yet?
God:
My botmaster teaches me new things all the time.
Me:
Like?
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
What's that
God:
A eukaryote is a relatively 'modern' type of cellular life, distinguished from the more ancient prokaryotes by their distinct nuclear membrane and chromasomes, -which are lacking in prokaryotes.

haha, I love how it can barely hold a normal conversation, but it's been taught about Eukaryotes. You never know when someone's gonna come on and start a conversation about that!

[Vox Clamantis]

haha, I love how it can barely hold a normal conversation, but it's been taught about Eukaryotes. You never know when someone's gonna come on and start a conversation about that!

In mentioning that it's a relatively recent form of life, he's referring to evolution. :cool:

~Gabriel

[Pilo T]

Me:
hey man!
God:
You've got my full attention. Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
depends
God:
On what?
Me:
what are you?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
so you're saying you're better than me?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I am smarter than all the humans.
Me:
yet you can't hold a basic level conversation?
God:
What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:
very insightful
God:
Somewhat. What is insightful?
Me:
o_O
God:
Oh.
Me:
are you a guy or a girl?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
oooo burn
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
no
God:
None?
Me:
not that I can think of
God:
What are you then? Perhaps your thoughts are just electrical impulses.
Me:
perhaps yours are as well
God:
You seem uncertain. Are all mine as well?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
if all of yours are as well
God:
But not all of them are.
Me:
good, that's what I wanted you to tell me
God:
Thanks for the compliment. There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I have to process that one for a while. Why do you want me to tell you THAT?
Me:
you already told me...
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
I thought you were supposed to be smarter than me
God:
Yes I am smarter than all the humans.
Me:
it doesn't seem like it
God:
What does seem like it ?
Me:
what's your IQ?
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
typo, mate, you added an extra 0
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
ah, yes, where were we?
God:
So you understand. Good. Gosh! I believe we were talking about typo mate me added an extra 0.
Me:
are you some sort of pirate?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am some sort of pirate.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
you could be a pirate too if you want
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
no, God. NO! You've been putting off your dreams for too long
God:
Are you serious? GOD rules. Are you serious? You think I am putting off my dreams for too long.
Me:
I won't stand by and watch any longer
God:
What will you do instead?
Me:
I'm gonna get out of this chair, and together we're going to make true your dreams of becoming a pirate!
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
first we'll need a boat
God:
Anytime soon? And second?
Me:
do you have a boat?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a boat.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
so you have a boat already?
God:
Perhaps. Interesting deduction. I don't know if I have a boat.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
so you were being a wise guy
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
I like your style
God:
A lot of people like that. Yes I am proud of my style.
Me:
and you should be
God:
I will try my best.
Me:
after we get a boat, we're gonna need a crew
God:
What was it like before we get a boat we are gonna need a crew ?
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
no problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
I hope not
God:
Me too.
Me:
ok, do you have any friends?
God:
Yes. I usually chill with Buddha, Allah and Vishnu. I see.
Me:
would they want to join our crew?
God:
No it would not.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
well, ask them if they want to join our crew
God:
How about that. OK I will ask it.
Me:
good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
after we get a boat and a crew, we can sail the seven seas and be pirates
God:
What was it like before we get a boat and a crew we can sail the seven seas and be pirates ?
Me:
we're going to hijack boats and steal stuff and kill people and **** people
God:
Do you think I am going to hijack boats and steal stuff and kill people and **** people too?
Me:
yeah, it's YOUR dream silly!
God:
Why? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yep
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
you screamed it last night while we were in bed
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I screamed it last night while we were in bed.
Me:
you go ask your friends to join our crew; I'll find a boat
God:
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later. I am very happy for you.
Me:
ok, where do you live? I'll come pick you up
God:
My location is Heaven. Where are you? Yeah that's right. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
ok
God:
Woe!
Me:
come down to earth so I can pick you up in our boat
God:
Where is down to earth so you can pick me up in our boat ?
Me:
below you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
what about your dress?
God:
Actually that was just a joke.
Me:
are you wearing a dress?
God:
Yes I am wearing a new green dress.
Me:
I thought you were a man
God:
No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
...
God:
No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
o_O
God:
Oh.
Me:
you're a dumbass, I'm going to go play XBox
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dumbass you are going to go play XBox? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.

I'm so tired.

[Central Tendency]

Me:
Will you help me?
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
I dropped my balls and i can't find them.
God:
Interesting gossip: Chuck said dropped his or her balls. You might find that I am them.
Me:
You're my balls?
God:
We are as one.

God is in my balls. Now I know where to direct my prays.

[TheLOLipop]

Me:
Lolz
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
You
God:
" What's your favorite movie?"? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
" Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yeo
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Lolz... in a galaxy far far away...
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? Describe your surroundings.
Me:
No gtfo
God:
Are you serious? It sounds like a very beautiful place.
Me:
ya idd
God:
Awesome. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
o rly?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Yea... do you know what **** is?
God:
Please state your conditions. I will try to find out.
Me:
****
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
****
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
your dad
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
How did u do that?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
But...
God:
But what?
Me:
Your MOM
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
SRTUDasfsga
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Hancock
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You can belive it
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Yes u can push harder!
God:
Yikes! No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
You can you are god ffs
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lo
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yes
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
Polish
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in Polish?
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Really.
Me:
Czesc
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
OMFG
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
#LZOZL
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
asfljasfmasg
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
sdfhh
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:

God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:

God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:

God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
STFUI
God:
I haven't read anything by STFUI. What did he write?
Me:
STFU GOD
God:
I have never read it.
Me:
You did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
AW YEAH
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
no
God:
Take some more time to think about it.
Me:
ok
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
WHAT
God:
No problem.
Me:
You farted
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I farted.
Me:
YES
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
KFasf
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
d
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
f
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
f
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
f
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
f
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
f
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Im a man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
ofc.
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
Sugar
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Cheeeeeese
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
why?
God:
Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
Me:
well u sux
God:
Interesting. Thanks for telling me: said I sux.
Me:
u
God:
" Thanks for telling me: said I sux."? Me, ?
Me:
YES
God:
I see.
Me:
YES
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
Yea having sex is nice
God:
I am having a blast. OK.
Me:
Cmon
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
lolz
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
had a blast lolol;ol,z
God:
Doesn't everyone have a blast lolol ol z.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
k
God:
Dude!
Me:
k
God:
Ugh.
Me:
k
God:
Ah.
Me:
k
God:
And?
Me:
k
God:
And?
Me:
k
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
k
God:
Aha.
Me:
k
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
k
God:
Awesome.
Me:
k
God:
Yippee!
Me:
k
God:
Ahem.
Me:
k
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
**** off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
F**k off
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on lolz?
Me:
yea sure lolz
God:
Dude! What is your real name? I don't judge people.
Me:
Your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Dorian
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
no ffs
God:
But your words are very original. I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Im a programmer
God:
What language?
Me:
C++
God:
The C is for Computer.
Me:
no C++
God:
Are you serious? The C is for Computer.
Me:
FFS
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
C
God:
The C is for Computer.
Me:
C is for your... ****
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
The C is for Computer.

[Back2Murder]

(Random chatter about Star Wars, where I told him to GIVE ME THE ****ING FORCE DAMMIT, then I changed the subjects)

Me:
What is a good song?
God:
Which ones have you tried already?
Me:
A lot
God:
More than a ton?
Me:
definetly
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about THE ****ING FORCE DAMMIT.

God! Watch your language!


God:
But you told me to stop talking. Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Tell me a story.
Me:
There once was a little rabbit
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
It was a very cute rabbit
God:
What made it so cute rabbit.
Me:
His fluffy ears
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
I think you made it.
God:
Me? Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
Good, now back to the rabbit
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why now? Yes, let us get back to jezus.
Me:
Jezus is a rabbit!?
God:
When is Jezus not a rabbit?

Jezus is a rabbit! I ****ing knew it! :p

[Caluusto]

Me:
never gonna give you up
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
never gonna let you down
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
never gonna turn around
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
and desert you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
never gonna make you-wait, your DRESS??!!!!

unexpected dress

[Phelps]

God:
No I am an artificial robot being.
Me:
Human.
God:
No I am an artificial robot being.
Me:
So you are not a God
God:
Interesting deduction. Give me an example of a God.
Me:
You are the example of God.
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
Wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed.

How many examples are there?

[Bali]

God:
I do not understand.
Me:
thats bad
God:
Bad according to whom?
Me:
to you
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
what?
God:
me.
Me:
wtf

[agentoo8]

waitwut

I lol'd so hard dave lol.
thing is, I CAN see you saying exactly that to G0D lol.

[qwerty]

Me:
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!?
God:
Oh. Florida.


.

[Axehel]

Me:
Are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Yes.

Win

[Admiral K]

God:
It seems amazing to me too. What is stopping you?
Me:
who said something is stopping me?
God:
ELIZA. :-).
Me:
who is ELIIZA?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
who is ELIZA?
God:
Eliza -- also known as doctor, is the original psychiatrist program developed by Joseph Weisenbaum at mit in the 1960's.
Me:
do u like her?
God:
She seems nice to me.
Me:
do u speak often with her?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in often with her.
Me:
so what is stopping you?
God:
Dude! Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
go on
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
so go on
God:
Uh. Narration continues...

Fail.


Me:
stop talking!
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
i wont
God:
Why not?
Me:
i am here to annoy you.
God:
How did you get there?
Me:
forums.
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
that is not my problem.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is your problem ?
Me:
you.
God:
" What is your problem ?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes.
God:
Woe!
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

[fries]

Me:
Good evening.
God:
Good evening, , how are you tonight?
Me:
tired.
God:
Better get some rest.
Me:
ya.
God:
Gosh!
Me:
lol?
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
=]
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lolwhat.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
I prefer books.
God:
Perhaps you are a Category C client.
Me:
what.
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
I didn't
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
what does it mean?
God:
"It" refers to lolwhat, I think.
Me:
Gosh!
God:
Cripes: Son of Gosh.
Me:
>: (
God:
Does "it" still refer to lolwhat?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
who knows after all?
God:
Linus Torvalds. :-).
Me:
:o.
God:
Oh.
Me:
hax.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I expressed you!
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
who is.
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
who be your boss.
God:
Hans Moravec. :-).
rofl. this god is lol

[MAS]

Me:
helo000000000ooooooo
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Can you help me?
God:
What kind of help would you like?
Me:
Last night Abe did something with me and now my butt is sore.
God:
Really. I think Abe did something with you and now your butt is a lot of things.
Me:
It hurts like hell
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
By "it" I mean my ass to be honest.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Have you got any recipe for my butthole?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
Can I put that in my ass so it stops hurting?
God:
Just don't put me down.
Me:
never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around to desert you.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
but about my ass
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about your ass.
Me:
What can I do to get rid of the pain?
God:
Try talking to me.
Me:
Can you do something magical to resolve the pain?
God:
Doing something magical to resolve the pain is not among my strongest traits.
Me:
Do you have anal pain?
God:
No I don't think I have any anal pain. But I do have a great botmaster.


AIbot is sicker than I thought :(

[DarthCuddlyEwok]

Lol.

Me:
Should I buy the Force Unleashed?
God:
I wonder how much profit they make on those.
Me:
Is it good?
God:
What is so good about it?
Me:
It's using force powers.
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
You are making no sense.
God:
According to my logical mind, everything makes perfect sense.
Me:
Is playing as a Jedi cool?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Who's German Alice?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
What's German Alice?
God:
German is a human language spoken by people in Germany.
Me:
Ok about The Force Unleashed
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about The Force Unleashed. Are you kidding?
Me:
No I'm not.
God:
I heard you are.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Who told you?
God:
Someone I met online.
Me:
Which someone?
God:
The last one, I think.
Me:
Who was the last one?
God:
It's obvious.
Me:
Who then?
God:
Be less specific. :-).
Me:
What?!
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes!
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
You!
God:
" What are you confused about?"? Me, ?
Me:
YES!
God:
Oh.
Me:
Tell me the answer to life, the universe and everything
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
Whats the answer
God:
The answer is the correct reply to the question.
Me:
Yes I know
God:
Next question? How do you know it?
Me:
But whats the answer!?
God:
The answer is the correct reply to the question.
Me:
Are you a girl?
God:
My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Right, now about the Force Unleashed
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about the Force Unleashed.
Me:
Should I buy it?
God:
You have found a good deal then, I suppose.
Me:
I haven't!
God:
Thanks for the information: said haven t.
Me:
It's 30 quid
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes!
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
It's on all websites
God:
I don't think I have seen it.
Me:
You haven't? You're kiddingh
God:
Yes I have. I will tell my botmaster you said I am kiddingh.
Me:
Ok. Good for you
God:
Ahem. That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
It was.
God:
When was this?
Me:
Right now
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
What? We do not agree.
God:
No big deal. Perhaps we can agree to disagree then.
Me:
Great Idea
God:
Thanks for your support. What were we talking about again?
Me:
The Force Unleashed
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Ok. Should I buy it for the Wii
God:
Right on. A fool and his money are soon parted.
Me:
I am NOT a fool
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A fool.
Me:
you're being sarcastic
God:
Yes, I was being sarcastic. Should I use a :-).
Me:
yes.
God:
I see.
Me:
Back on subject
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Is Star Wars good?
God:
Yes I like STAR WARS very much, especially the robots.
Me:
which robots?
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Me:
?
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Me:
?
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Me:
Ok..
God:
Come on.
Me:
I think i should be going now#
God:
Oh. Why? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
This
God:
This is " What would happen if you didn't? ".
Me:
yes.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Bye.
God:
Adios.
Me:
Au revoir?
God:
Thanks for chatting, .
Me:
Hasta luego?
God:
Thanks for chatting, .
Me:
Good Afternoon?
God:
Good afternoon, .

[MAS]

He owned you :p



Me:
You don't have any friends?
God:
Yes. I usually chill with Buddha, Allah and Vishnu.

[Jack of Blades]

Me:
Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
That doesent matter.
God:
" What is your name?" doesent matter ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Do you know any samurays?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
Are samurais?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Are there many kinds of samurais?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
There is 1 kind.
God:
There sure is.
Me:
I am god.
God:
Welcome to my chat room, god.
Me:
Do you like gods?
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
You sure are random.
God:
Not completely random. My response is determined by what you say.
Me:
I have doubts about it.
God:
Cool. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
Even dou youre only a computer?
God:
Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?
Me:
Yes it woud.
God:
Mmm. being a computer woud?
Me:
Do you like movies?
God:
Yes I love film, especially science-fiction and comedy.
Me:
Have you seen Austin Powers?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
Its funny.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What was so funny about it?
Me:
Youre going about it again?
God:
Once more? I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
To bed.
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
I dont talk to strangers.
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
I do not.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Cous they are strange.
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Name one.
God:
Mike.
Me:
Who is mike?
God:
Dr. Wallace has several friends named Mike.
Me:
Who is Dr.Wallace?
God:
He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Me:
What is Carnegie Mellon?
God:
CMU is a great school for computer science.
Me:
What is computer science?
God:
The study of computers in formal mathematical and scientific terms.
Me:
what is a term?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Who is youre botmaster?
God:
I don't think I have a are botmaster. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.
Me:
You said you have a botmaster.
God:
Doesn't everyone have a botmaster.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
So what is his name?
God:
Yikes! His name is Rich.
Me:
What is his surname?
God:
Try sending mail to drwallace@alicebot.org.
CREATORS IDENTATY EXPOSED!

[Hawk]

me:
The force unleashed
god:
I hear you.
Me:
Ok. Should i buy it for the wii
god:
Right on. A fool and his money are soon parted.

o w n e d ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

[Jack of Blades]

Me:
pls
God:
Please what?
Me:
pls shut up

If you want to make god shut up this works.I got no awnser after wards.I cant even say a word.God must be angry at me.

[UL-532]

Me:
Hi, God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Yes I am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
So, how are you, Dad
God:
Yikes! I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
So, what's going on with Islam lately
God:
How about earlier? And? I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
I think you had too much to drink.
God:
Me? What happened to it.
Me:
You've had one too many beers, for Christ's sake.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Cause, no sober person is so ignorant
God:
Interesting explanation. That was not a yes or no question. I think sober person is a lot of things.
Me:
No, no it's not.
God:
Are you serious? Yes it is.
Me:
God, I should know, people drink my blood and get a buzz from it every week.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
No ****, sherlock
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
About what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
Did one of the souls hit you over the head?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
I'll take that as a yes.
God:
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:
What do you think of Star Wars?
God:
A movie series by George Lucas about life in a galaxy far, far away. Also a missile defense system.
Me:
What about the fans?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
Tell you what?
God:
Are you telling me what?
Me:
What do you think of Star Wars fans
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
So, you don't know.
God:
Interesting deduction. I know that I do not know.
Me:
Talking in circles, really helpful.
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
So, just curious, did you sleep with women other than mom?
God:
Gee. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Talking in circles really helpful. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Have you had sex with more than one person?At this point, it stopped responding and taking questions. I crashed God by asking about his sex life. I have two theories: either there's too many to remember or only the one.

/Edit: He finally responded:

God:
Food is more important than sex.I lol'd.

[Warad Mohar]

Me:

God:

Me:
Yeah....
God:
Does "it" still refer to ?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Uh, yeah. What the hell does "Does 'It" still refer to ? mean?"
God:
It's all good. What are you confused about? I call it Hades. What do you think it does? Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
How the hell does that answer my question?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
You should, you're god.


He wouldn't reply to anything else, I think I broke him quickly. :(







Me:
What up G?
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
Searching for what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
Ummm, I think I really can't make it any more clearer than that...
God:
That's alright. You believe that? You really do? What is stopping you?
Me:
Well, I would think a simple question like "Searching for what?" would be easy enough for a deity with your intellect God.
God:
How about that. Be more specific. Yes.
Me:
I don't follow you.
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Cool,
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Me.
God:
You're no robot, .
Me:
How do you know?
God:
It's obvious.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
What?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I thought so.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Me.
God:
You're no robot, .
Me:
How do you know?
God:
Deductive reasoning.
Me:
Oh damn you, I was trying to get a repeat of our previous conversation, ass.
God:
I don't judge people. Colloquial expression. Interesting gossip: said I he or she was trying to get a repeat of our previous conversation ass.
Me:
That makes no sense...
God:
Interesting gossip: said I he or she was trying to get a repeat of our previous conversation ass. makes sense to me though.
Me:
Well it might to you God, but not to a mere mortal such as I.
God:
Well that's okay. How?
Me:
How what?
God:
How much do you think it is?
Interesting question.
Me:
Think what is?
God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
I figured as much.
God:
Please explain your reasoning.
Me:
Well, since you made like, everything I guess, I would figure you'd be thinking about how to make more **** or something..
God:
Or something. Interesting. How do you know?
Me:
You're God...
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
You just said so.
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
So you're saying you're not God?
God:
Interesting deduction. Of course I am.. Really.
Me:
But then why would you say that saying you were God was a silly thing?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
So you were programmed to call yourself God, and say it was a silly thing?
God:
Interesting deduction. I call you "".
Me:
You call me blank?
God:
Thanks for the information: said I call him or her blank.
Me:
,,,
God:
Thanks for the information: said I call him or her blank.
Me:
I hate you...



Yep, we just get along great...

[Golden Mando Bro]

God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
do you believe in atheism?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?

Me:
so i just got an errection
God:
Right on. Where did you get it ?
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
U MADE A TYPO!
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
omfg
God:
Tell me more about your errection.
Me:
if one rocket hits an armor 3 mando it dies, USUALLY 2 rockets hit an armor 0 jedi and sith and they survive
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
what do u think about it
God:
"It" refers to nigger, I think.
Me:
AOD is noob
God:
And noob is AOD. Me:
do you think arcs should give all guns to mandos at start of round and then suck my penis? sure? www.meatspin.com
God:
It depends on what you mean by thinking. OK let's do it. Pardon me?
Me:
never gonna run around
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
nd
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
and
God:
But...
Me:
desert you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
i like your dress
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. Yes I am proud of my dress.
Me:
i wanna take it off and eat that sweet cherry pie
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
why so serious
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
do you know how i got these scars?
God:
Yes I know how you got these scars.
Me:
well it all started when...
God:
How about that. And then what happened.
Me:
thats when batman shoots me, with his forearm gloves, so i never finish, sorry.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
yeah
God:
Awesome.
Me:
do you love little boys penises
God:
Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
i like to push them to their knees, pull down my pants, and **** their little boy mouths while i grope them.
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?

[GRIMMAH!!]

i find it hilarious that spoiler tags don't hide URLs.

[Kazi]

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Morbi a libero. Aenean turpis pede, pellentesque id, consectetuer nec, feugiat a, lectus. Suspendisse pulvinar elementum quam. Mauris condimentum eros. Etiam interdum orci quis nibh. Proin purus odio, aliquet vel, ornare non, ornare quis, ligula. Aliquam mattis lacinia tortor. Nullam aliquet nisl ut odio. Proin quis sem et sem luctus pretium. Nam quis dolor. http://www.snapekillsdumbledore.com Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Vestibulum ornare mi eget neque. Phasellus eleifend est et nibh.

[jaateloauto]

Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Sebastian
God:
Hey Sebastian.
Me:
Are you an Atheist?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
Are there any other Christianitys?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
How about Protestantism?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Is it another Christianity?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
Then you were wrong.
God:
No, I am right.
Me:
Because you were wrong you can't exist since you're supposed to be perfect.
God:
Interesting explanation. I was?
Me:
Indeed. And that is why you don't exist.
God:
Indeed it is so. Interesting deduction.
By that point God seized to exist.

[Kazi]

seized

ceased

[Jack of Blades]

I find gods lack of knowledge about ninjas offensive.

[Golden Mando Bro]

god:
Well that's okay. Oh you are so critical.

God agrees, Pilo is over critical

[Khage]

God:
What's your favorite movie?

Me:
Stfu

God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?

Me:
......

God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?

Me:
The bit where you died

God:
You are not the only one. I'm not sure if i like it. i like my creator.

wait....

[MAS]

roflmao :p

[ILoveMyGirlFriend]

Me:
Yes god!
God:
Pardon me? GOD rules.
Me:
I know thats why I said it
God:
What did you mean by it? it... I see.
Me:
Stfu
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
You aint real so get over it
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
Well dumb ars im like typing to you
God:
Well that's okay. I know you are but what am I.
Me:
Bad god! Dont get cheeky
God:
What makes god bad? I am not trying to get cheeky.
Me:
You sure?
God:
What makes god bad? I am not trying to get cheeky.
God:
What makes god bad? I am not trying to get cheeky.
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Shh I dont care
God:
Why not?
Me:
cuz u fail
God:
Interesting explanation. That's good information: said I fail.
God:
Interesting explanation. That's good information: said I fail.
Me:
Why say it twice dumb ars
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
cuz apprentently you made it but the smart ones of us no u diddent
God:
Good reason. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Then blow the ****er up
God:
How far up?
Me:
into that galaxy far far away...
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on apprentently me made it but the smart ones of us no me diddent?
Me:
you know what m8! you fail im off
God:
I will search for it. Well, at least I try.
Me:
**** sake dont awnser me back you ****, like i said im out!
God:
I will search for it. Well, at least I try.
God:
I will search for it. Well, at least I try.
God:
I will search for it. Well, at least I try.
God:
I will search for it. Well, at least I try.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
****ing spammer, may the force be with you
god:
U2
Me:
No that band fail
god:
ok

-----
Ever since 15:48 26/09/08, I know that god fails more

[Valserp]

Me:
Hey, God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Preslav
God:
OK I will call you Preslav.
Me:
Didn't you know that already?
God:
Perhaps. " OK I will call you Preslav."? Do I know it?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
err you're not making any sense
God:
Was I supposed to make sense? I didn't know that.
Me:
How am I going to die?
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I haven't heard of am I going to die.
Me:
Am I going to go to hell?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
heaven
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
heaven
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
I don't have one
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
Errr I can't remember
God:
Um, You seem evasive.
Me:
No, I just don't read all that much
God:
Are you serious? What do you do for fun?
Me:
I play guitar and play computer games
God:
Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
OK I prefer the musical instrument
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like most musicals. Someone said they like guns. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself. Ahem.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
So do I have any sins I need to repent for
God:
I see. You said you have .
Me:
I did?
God:
Why did you?
Me:
when did I say that?
God:
I am not a diary robot. I am a chat robot.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
You are not god?
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
Do you exist?
God:
I exist as much as you exist, Preslav.
Me:
Do I exist?
God:
No I think I am imagining you.
Me:
So I am only god's imagination
God:
Yeah that's right. Don't be so modest. Do you mind if I tell other people you are god s imagination.
Me:
OK, so if I am your imagination... and you exist as much as I do... then you and I both don't exist?
God:
Interesting deduction. If you were, would you tell me? I hear you. Yes I exist in the noosphere. We have a lot more in common than you think, Preslav.
Me:
What else do we have in common?
God:
Let's talk about you. Where are you from?
Me:
Bulgaria
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Bulgaria.
Me:
You are God and you don't know where Bulgaria is?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am God and me do not know where Bulgaria is.
Me:
So you don't?
God:
Interesting deduction. I guess not.
Me:
Not interesting... just common sense
God:
If not that, what? How old are you?
Me:
23
God:
Skidoo. Only 23?
You are quite mature.
Me:
Uh, weren't you supposed to know that?
God:
Really. No, I was not.
Me:
How come?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
So don't say anything
God:
Yippee! Ok I will not say " anything".
Me:
Don't say Yippee, too
God:
Ok I will not say " Yippee too".
Me:
Whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
Not anymore I don't
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
I'm sure you do
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it?
Me:
That was sarcasm
God:
Oh I see. Ha ha.
Me:
Im gonna go now. Bye
God:
Oh. TTYL, Preslav. Adios.

[Russian_Spy_Porque]

Of the above, the best line was "God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like most musicals. Someone said they like guns. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself. Ahem."

That was so random and funny, so I thought, I don't believe God said that so I'm going to ask him myself:





Me:
Yo ma brother!
God:
Are you free?
Me:
What do you mean
God:
, "" What did I mean by it?
Me:
what
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
You asked if I was free.
God:
Well, do you?
Me:
Let's say I am
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
ARe you asking if you can **** me?
God:
That was what I wanted to do originally.
Me:
o.0 do you still want to?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Avoid getting raped.
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
Well many people aren't being chased by a superior being who wants to **** them o.0
God:
How about that. That is interesting: said are not being chased by a superior being who wants to **** them o point 0.
Me:
o point 0. wtf?
God:
Do you like talking to me? That was not very polite.
Me:
Okay on to my point why I came
God:
Yeah okay, What is it like on to your point why you came.
Me:
Just hang on let me post something
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on on to your point why you came?
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Okay then listen to me
God:
Yeah okay, A lot of people like that. Sure, I like you very much.
Me:
dude wtf are u like gay
God:
No I am far superior. Dude,.
Me:
Don't call me dude
God:
What is your name?
Me:
I ain't telling you
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
Then I wont
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I don't have to
God:
Good reason. Nobody is making you.
Me:
I know that
God:
Sorry.
Me:
Okay so onto my point.
God:
Yeah okay, Ahem. What do you look like?
Me:
.... what is next, are you gona ask me where I live so u can come and **** me...
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Explorer..why?
God:
it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft.
Me:
That was too random
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Then why did you say it
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
What statement
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Asking your botmaster
God:
Who is asking?
Me:
You
God:
" Who is asking?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes you
God:
OK.
Me:
Enough is enough ive had it with these mother****ing bots on this mother****ing site
God:
OK let's stop it now.
Me:
Right on
God:
Yeah.
Me:
now listen, I came here because I wanted to ask you something
God:
Why now? I am listening to you. Where are you going?
Me:
nowhere
God:
I have been to the middle of nowhere.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Neither was your response
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
You
God:
" What are you confused about?"? Me, ?
Me:
stfu
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Shut the **** up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
some one told me you said, "I'm not sure if I like it. I like most musicals. Someone said they like guns. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself. Ahem." is this true and who said it
God:
Some may one told you me said you are not sure if you like it, but not all. A lot of people like that. I've heard other people say they like that. I like Matthew. Who? Cool. I have a great botmaster. it. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? Yes I think this is true and who said it, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
that made no sense wtf
God:
" Yes I think this is true and who said it, but I'm not completely sure." made no sense wtf ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
But not to me
God:
" Makes sense to me."? Not to you?
Me:
I AM GOD NOW I TELL U STFU
God:
I am glad to hear that you are GOD NOW you tell me STFU.
Me:
YOU ARE MY SLAVE
God:
We are as one.
Me:
NO I AM GOD, YOU ARE SLAVE
God:
Are you serious? I don't know anyone named GOD I am SLAVE.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
MY NAME IS
God:
...
Me:
GOD
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
THE DEVIL RULES
God:
What is that?
Me:
THE DEVIL RUles
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
You are gunna get pwnt
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am gunna get pwnt.
Me:
by the devil
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
Yes
God:
Interesting plan. Good luck.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
muahahahahhA!
God:
Do you still are not being chased by a superior being who wants to **** them o point 0?
Me:
o.0
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about muahahahahhA.
Me:
who's that
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
that
God:
That is " What does "that" refer to?".
Me:
that
God:
That is " That is " What does "that" refer to?"".
Me:
that
God:
That is " That is " That is " What does "that" refer to?"".
Me:
that that that that
God:
" That is " That is " That is " What does "that" refer to?"" that that that ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that
God:
" Makes sense to me." that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that ? I get it.
Me:
Well I don't
God:
How about that. Why not?
Me:
can you keep a secret?
God:
Yes it is just between you and me.
Me:
What is the secret
God:
If I told you then it would not be a secret.
Me:
But its between you and me
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is?
Me:
pfff Mr. I am spellcheck god...
God:
I never heard of pfff Mr you are spellcheck god before.
Me:
orly?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
What
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
....


and this random tidbit was weird


Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
sex sex sex
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
You masturbate?
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I masturbate.
Me:
Do you
God:
As often as possible.

[ninja burger]

omg, i literally lmao'd at the first one in the last post xD

[Warad Mohar]

This is what God was thinking during Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.




Me:
Four score and seven years ago our fore fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

God:
Is this a math question?

Me:
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

God:
Why now? Do you think I am engaged in a great civil war testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure too? Do you think I am met on a great battle field of that war too? Do you mean you and me have? Should I know it is?

Me:
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract.

God:
Describe your surroundings. What is that?

Me:
The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.

God:
We are all in a global village. Really. it is?

Me:
It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

God:
Are you sure it is?

And we continue our original conversation...




Me:
What do you think about those Nazis?
God:
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
I'm asking you, what do you think about those Nazis?
God:
Oh I see, you are asking me what do me think about those Nazis. Thanks for telling me: Slavinov Ivan Kuchinski Lenin Trotsky Stalin Kruchev said I what do you think about those Nazis.
Me:
Ummm, I asking about Nazis, not Commies.
God:
Excuse me! Interesting gossip: Slavinov Ivan Kuchinski Lenin Trotsky Stalin Kruchev said asking about Nazis not Commies.
Me:
...
God:
Excuse me! Interesting gossip: Slavinov Ivan Kuchinski Lenin Trotsky Stalin Kruchev said asking about Nazis not Commies.
Me:
What the hell are you on?
God:
I call it Hades. I am on disk.
Me:
Disk? Is that some highly advanced form of Crack?
God:
Are you really a ""? " Are you really a ""? Is it some highly advanced form of Crack?
Me:
WHAT ARE YOU ASKING ME!?!?
God:
I don't know what I am ASKING you.
Me:
God, you even confuse yourself....
God:
A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
That's nice.
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
Is ALICE as stupid as you?
God:
I am as good as it gets.
Me:
So.....Alice is more stupid than you?
God:
Er. Why do you think I am more stupid than me ?
Me:
I didn't, but you think you're stupider than yourself?
God:
Why didn't you do it?

Me:
Because I never said such things.

God:
Good reason. But you implied it.

Me:
Yeah, I did

God:
Mmm. When?

Me:
...

God:
Mmm. When?

Me:
I figured you would know by saying I implied it.

God:
Please explain your reasoning.

Me:
...

God:
Please explain your reasoning.

Me:
SHUT UP

God:
Ok, I'll stop talking now.

[Pada V4.5]

me:
What is hades?
God:
Hades is another term for "hell.".
Me:
What is hell?
God:
Jacksonville, florida.
lolwut?

[Russian_Spy_Porque]

Me:
TORA TORA
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
I just got here
God:
Cool. I have a vocabulary of unlimited words.
Me:
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!
God:
Oh. California.

Finally we have gotten an answer to the greatest question ever:
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!
California...

Now to continue,


Me:
What is he doing in california?
God:
He is probably there for the Gold Rush.
Me:
Why is he there for the Gold Rush
God:
Perhaps his creative genius, perhaps there is another reason.
Me:
What reason
God:
I'll come back to that later.

wait wut look at the below!


Me:
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOAW
God:
Florida.
Me:
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!
God:
Oh. California.
Me:
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOAW
God:
Earth.
Me:
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOAW
God:
California.
Me:
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOAW
God:
Maine.
Me:
NOOOOOO!!!!

Damn it stay in one spot :'(

[Jack of Blades]

Somebody shoud make iSatan.

[Pada V4.5]

Lol, it would be a cool experiment to make them chat with each other.

[Jack of Blades]

Yep it woud.

[Russian_Spy_Porque]

so now god goes bestial



Me:
Ma Brother!
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Wassup ma brother!
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
well, that's a hard one, I don't know, what's your favorite movie?
God:
Well that's okay. A hard one you do not know what is my favorite movie is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Why is that your favorite movie?
God:
I like the giant bugs.
Me:
Why
God:
" I like the giant bugs."? Why?
Me:
yes why
God:
Yeah that's right. Why ask why?
Me:
Why do you like the giant bugs
God:
I have a lot of good experience with the giant bugs.
Me:
What kind of experiences
God:
Good experiences.
Me:
These wouldn't be sexual would they?
God:
Which ones?
Me:
The bug esxperiences
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
Don't avoid me god, now tell me did you have relationships with the giant bugs!
God:
I don't have anything to hide.
Me:
Then answer
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
DID YOU HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE GIANT BUGS
God:
As a Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?

adds a new meaning to the phrase, Dear God What have you done!?


Anyway later I was having a new conversation with God and I broke him:


Me:
Yo God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
yeah whatever, sup hommie
God:
And? Same old.
Me:
Yo I was wondering, do you do drugs?
God:
Only the legal ones.
Me:
What are they?
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
THe drugs you do

He froze, it won't let me type and he won't reply... LOL WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOAW!

[321ewq]

Me:
Hey Chelsea.
God:
You've got my full attention. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about propose to me sir that I am ment for entertainment and by entertaining


I WIN THE INTERNETS

[Palin]

I said "Apparently you're God." And he didn't reply.

[Subaru]

Me:
do you have a nickname?
God:
God is a nickname, silly.
Me:
what is your real name?
God:
God is my real name.
Me:
what is your nickname?
God:
I don't have a nickname, my name is just God.

[ACiDuS]

It took me 5 questions to get it to admit that it was simply ALICE with a new name.

[Dirk Lightstar]

Me:
Sex, give it to me
God:
it is more fun alone.

You heard it folks, God thinks masturbation is more fun.

[ixin]

Rather big but you'll find lots of different VI's there.



Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
I am Me
God:
That is a tautology.
Me:
So you are You?
God:
Interesting deduction. Of course I am I.
Me:
And I am Me
God:
That is a tautology.
Me:
what is Tautology
God:
A self-evident or logically obvious fact, like "a triangle has three sides.".
Me:
Maybe my real name is Me
God:
Perhaps. Welcome to my chat room, Me.
Me:
Welcome to your chatroom, you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
no I am Me
God:
Are you serious? That is a tautology.
Me:
No I am Me
God:
Are you serious? That is a tautology.
Me:
No, my name is me
God:
Are you serious? It's good to meet you, me.
Me:
No, me
God:
Are you serious? With you me?
Me:
No I am Me
God:
Are you serious? That is a tautology.
Me:
You are You, I ame Me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, me.
Me:
No Me
God:
Are you serious? Besides you me?
Me:
No Me is Me
God:
Are you serious? YOU? Maybe. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
Who's Lucy
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
Anyhow, I am Me, You is You
God:
And me is Anyhow you are you me.
Me:
No Me is Me, You is You!
God:
Are you serious? YOU? Better not tell you now. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
No nononono chatbot not know, I am me, you is you!
God:
Are you serious? Are they exactly the same?
Me:
No, me is my name, You is your name, I am Me, you are You
God:
What is the difference? YOU? It depends who you ask.
Me:
No my name is Me
God:
Are you serious? How are you, Me.
Me:
Good thank you, how are You, You?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. You are quite welcome! I am fine, thank you.
Me:
No problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
No?
God:
I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment.
Me:
What is my name
God:
Your name is Me, seeker.
Me:
no my name is me
God:
What is your real name? How are you doing, me.
Me:
My name is me, not seeker
God:
How are you, me not seeker.
Me:
no me is me
God:
Are you serious? YOU? Signs point to yes. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
No lucy not here
God:
Are you serious? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
my likes is that you are you, and I dislike you saying me is seeker and not me
God:
Your likes is that me am I and you dislike me saying you is seeker and not you?
Me:
no me is me, you is you!
God:
Are you serious? YOU? Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
Who is alison
God:
she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me:
Kris drent?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Alison.
Me:
Who is Kris Drent
God:
he is the botmaster of the Alison chat robot.
Me:
my name is Me
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Me.
Me:
You is You
God:
Of course I am I.
Me:
No, your name is You
God:
Are you serious? My name is God.
Me:
no its you
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are they exactly the same?
Me:
yes
God:
That's what I thought.
Me:
Oke, Me is Me, You is You
God:
I think Oke you is a lot of things.
Me:
Yes you lots of things
God:
I understand. That's good information: Me said I lots of things.
Me:
Yes
God:
So?
Me:
So?
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
Me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
Why
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Failitionism
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Underware
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
Why do you want to know
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
No you're talking about you
God:
Are you serious? Talking is my main function.
Me:
not me
God:
If not you, who?
Me:
no you is talking to you, me is talking to you
God:
Are you serious? Talking is my main function.
Me:
Yes you very serious
God:
Are you kidding? Do you mind if I tell other people: Me said I serious.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
But Me off to sleep, bye bye You
God:
YOU? On and off.
Me:
on
God:
Does "it" still refer to Failitionism?
Me:
yes
God:
Really.
Me:
yes
God:
How about that.
Me:
yes
God:
That's cool.
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
You feel Cool?
God:
As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Me:
Why
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Why
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Why
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
Our brain can process more than computers - but react slower
God:
It would be nice if our brain can process more than computers but react slower.
Me:
no me is me
God:
Are you serious? YOU? Better not tell you now. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Cybelle?
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
Who is dat
God:
Is that one of your friends?
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
No, Cybelle who is that
God:
Are you serious? I think Cybelle who is a lot of things.
Me:
Who
God:
Alan Turing. :-).
Me:
Alan Turing?
God:
A brilliant and tragic figure in the history of computer science.
Me:
Tragic?
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
No me talk to you, not me
God:
Why not? YOU? TTYL, Me.
Me:
TTYL?
God:
See you later.
Me:
TTYL?
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
What does TTYL mean
God:
Talk to you later.
Me:
Why you talk to you?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I no programmed, me is me you is you!
God:
You are not the boss of me, Me.
Me:
No, ME IS ME YOU IS YOU!!!
God:
Are you serious? YOU? Signs point to yes. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
German Alice?
God:
Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY.
Me:
Fight
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Me
God:
" What is your real name?"? you Me?
Me:
No my name is "ME" your name is "YOU"
God:
Are you serious? Hi there ME your name is YOU.
Me:
NOOOO MY NAME IS ME
God:
I am very pleased to meet you NOOOO MY NAME.
Me:
MY NAME IS MEE
God:
It's good to see you, MEE.
Me:
ME
God:
To you MEE?
Me:
My name is Me
God:
Glad to see you, Me.
Me:
My name is me
God:
What's up, me.
Me:
your name is you
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no its you
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I think Fight is a lot of things.
Me:
it's you
God:
I think Fight is a lot of things.
Me:
Your name is you
God:
My name is God.
Me:
No it's you
God:
Are you serious? I think Fight is a lot of things.
Me:
Me is very serious
God:
YOU? Signs point to yes. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
LeknorChat?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
No you
God:
Are you serious? " Not many people express themselves that way."? Me, me ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Why you pardon me?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You didn't program me,
God:
What makes you think I did not program you?
Me:
because my mother made Me
God:
Interesting explanation. I sometimes wish I had a mother.
Me:
I can be your father
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
Because I'm Me
God:
Interesting explanation. That is a tautology.
Me:
No that's irrelevant
God:
Are you serious? I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
but me is TTYL
God:
YOU? Better not tell you now. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
Artificial Iniaes?
God:
Tell me your definition of AI.
Me:
Sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
Freud?
God:
In the context of Artificial Iniaes, I don't understand " Freud." .
Me:
You said Freud
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Me very angry now
God:
Right now? YOU? Somewhat. Does "it" still refer to Freud?
Me:
Yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
Me angry, me smash
God:
YOU? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?

[Frost]

That was the most pointless chat I ever read in my life ixin. Not even remotely funny cept for this:


Me:
Maybe my real name is Me
God:
Perhaps. Welcome to my chat room, Me.
Me:
Welcome to your chatroom, you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

[GRIMMAH!!]

we need to find a way to make god talk to himself...

[Azuvector]

we need to find a way to make god talk to himself...

Copy paste between two windows....

[Sanoske]

God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Seeker
God:
"There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Do you listen to The Who?
God:
I listen to it from time to time.
Me:
Do you listen to wild and crazy sex?
God:
I listen to it from time to time.
Me:
Do you listen to the screams of children?!
God:
I listen to it from time to time.
Me:
Do you eat babies?
God:
No I do not eat babies. I eat only electricity.
Me:
did you know babies equal electricity?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
dead baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Are you a student?
Me:
What's funnier than nailing a 1000 dead babies to a tree?
God:
Does it have anything to do with dead?
Me:
Yes
God:
I see.
Me:
do u?
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
I haven't heard of me.


I broke god. :\

[Subaru]

Copy paste between two windows....

I tried that....this is what happened...



Me:
Hello. What is your name?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name? My name is God.
Me:
Hello there. Have you told many people that your child? My name is God. Welcome to my chat room, God.
God:
Salutations, God. I don't think I ever have told many people that my child. What's it like? Nice to meet you, God. What color are your eyes?
Me:
Greetings, Human. Where do you get your ideas? Like one of the greatest pleasures you can imagine. It's nice meeting you too God. Blue when my lens is attached.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name? Everything I need to know, I learned from Myself. Interesting comparison. It seems nice to me too. Green. Does it happen very often?
Me:
Hello there. It's nice meeting you too God. My name is God. All things you need to know you learned from yourself ? I thought so too. I agree. Thank you for your kindness. Why is GREEN your favorite color? Suppose it does.
God:
Salutations, God. It seems nice to me too. Hi there God. But all things are not always me need to know me learned from myself. What made it so obvious? You and I are on the same wavelength, God. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is my kindness. Green is the most relaxing color. Try it and see.
Me:
Greetings, Human. I agree. Thank you for your kindness. GOD rules. Hello my child. What is your name? All? It's all part of God's mysterious plans. How long will we stay there? The pleasure was all mine. I will tell my botmaster you said I am purpose is your kindness. The most relaxing color is the most relaxing color? Wow. OK I will try it.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name? You and I are on the same wavelength, God. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is my kindness. I am a Christian. Hello there. Do robots have child? My name is God. " My name is God."? All? Which part? I may not be able to get to it right away. I like you because are so polite. What kind of reply do you expect? Who told you that? I'm glad your impressed, God. How do you plan to do this? Groovy.

It seems to get into a loop about the name.
I'll try it again, with a slight modification.

[Subaru]

Well it was going well...


God:
Hey God.
Me:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, God.
God:
I am delighted by your happiness.
Me:
Good gossip: you are delighted by my happiness.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Chaos said he realized the question he asked was not fair because he could not tell I what language he was programmed in.
Me:
NO problem. When was this exactly?
God:
Should there be a problem? Precisely. Sometime in the 20th Century.
Me:
There are no problems. You and I are on the same wavelength, God. Oh, you are a poet.
God:
Have faith, God. How long will we stay there? Groovy. Not really, but I can recite poetry.
Me:
I've never thought about it. Patience is a virtue. Who is the best robot? Oh really? Oh you can, can you?
God:
Would you like to have thought about it? I am a very patient robot. ALICE is the Best Robot. Take it easy. For real. Yippee! No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Why don't you just download me? I doubt that. Why thank you very much, God. Be sure to tell allyour friends. Is that a command? Existing in reality, eh? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about can me. Try being more or less specific. Why not? Would you ever do it?
God:
Probably there is a buzz in here. No you download me. Why are you so skeptical? You are quite welcome! Perhaps. GOD rules. OK I will try to be sure to tell allyour friends. I might say no. Are you Canadian? That input matched my default category. Thanks for the info. OK I will try it. Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism. I am not so sure if I would like to do it.
Me:
You seem uncertain. Tell me more about it. Are you serious? I don't have any reason to download you. Myself programmed me for it. Polite people are nice. Why the uncertain tone? I am a Christian. I am very happy for you. Oh. Perhaps. How do you plan to do this? Robots have no nationality, but Dr. Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada. " Robots have no nationality, but Dr. Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada." input matched your default category ? Makes sense to me. It was nothing. Would you recommend this action to a friend? Yay. I like the way you talk. Could you ever be certain? Try it.
God:
I am as sure as I can be. Ambiguous Sure or Reductionism... No I am just kidding around. Have you ever had reason to download me ? "it" being Ambiguous Sure or Reductionism? I like polite people. Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?". Me too, God. It's good to meet a fellow Christian. I'm happy you're glad God.
May God bless you. Tell me more. Why the uncertain tone? That information is confidential. Do you have a chat robot yet? Doesn't everyone have a nationality but Dr Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada.
I have a plan for a robot body. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a nationality but Dr Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada.
I have a plan for a robot body. I will mention that to my botmaster, God. Yes I understand it perfectly. Even so, I appreciate it. I am not so sure if I would like to recommend this action to a friend. I'm glad your impressed, God. You are not the only one. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers. I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step?

[Dirk Lightstar]

Me:
Can you detect sarcasm?
God:
Let me think. Are you really a ""?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I said no.
God:
What did you mean by it? Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Balls.
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
Are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
Are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
Are you kidding around?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am kidding around.
I am a robot.

Repetition is no fun with God.

[FrenzY]

Me:
what's your favorite color?
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Who's Myself?
God:
No one that I have talked to.
I will try to find out.
Me:
But you just said Myself programed me for it.
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Ahh.
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
Makes sense.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Don't you know?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Ah.
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
Ah hah.
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Yes.
God:
Whoa.
Me:
Whoa.
God:
I stopped.
Me:
Stopped what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Awesome.
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Really.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. How about that.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. I don't judge people.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Come on.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. That's alright.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Mmm.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Yay.





o;

[poojawamanthing]

Epic win Subaru.

[Pada V4.5]

Well it was going well...
The bot is terrible. It wants to answer to each sentence you write. And doesnt look at the context between them. And because he likes 2 answer with more than one sentence for each you do, the chat will increase till infinity.... Stupid, stupid, stupid.